Hunted.....

Sometimes I'd wish I was numb, and that there are times I could just switch it on and off just like a light switch, at times like this It could really be handy...so I can block off all the emotions and pain I'm going through. I wish theres a pill that you can just take and it will transport you into a trance like state...that no hurt or pain can affect you.

The problem with this kind of feelings is they are like ghosts from the past coming to hunt you, to taunt you, to inflict more pain and suffering to a wound thats been there for years...that just keeps on coming back...making that hole in your heart bigger and bigger...until you fall into oblivion...not knowing when the falling into that pit of loneliness and sorrow is ever gonna end.

I wish people could see how hard it is....to go through this pain again...and that I am trying hard not to be that person all over again, and that every waking day of my life, I try to put on that smile like an armor a mask so that this (feeling) can be contained and that I will not affect the people that I love, I care for...I don't want them to see the sorrow...cause sorrow is like a virus that inflicts one person to another...

Everyday...I try to hold on to every remaining hope...every ounce of love that I could get by...but sometimes I ask can this be enough, how long can I get by...

I am fighting this war not just for my self...but for the ones that I love.
I am just prying and hoping that one day would come that I would be the victor, and that I would wake up one day and smile and I don't have to beg and fight for love and happiness any more and that this hunting feelings will just be locked away in the past never to come back again.

A promise to my Love....

I promise to be your warm spot to cuddle up to when you feel cold
I promise to be your soft place to land if you should fall
I promise to be the first one to say I am sorry (even if I was right)
I promise to be there for you in all of your times of joy and sorrow
I promise to support you no matter what your decision (even if I don't agree )
I promise to make a new memory with you each and every day
I promise to love you without change.
I promise to make you laugh
I promise to make you cry only tears of joy
I promise to give you strength when you are weak
I promise to cherish you and your love
I promise to compromise with you
I promise to make you and our children my first priority
I promise to never take your love for granted
I promise to never lose faith in you
I promise to never give you a reason to distrust me
I promise to always trust you
I promise to work with you to resolve our conflicts
I promise to always be proud of you
I promise to never let you feel alone in this world
I promise to find new ways everyday to keep the fires of passion burning
I promise to always keep you as an equal partner
I promise to never say things to you in anger
I promise to be your partner for life
I promise to be your shelter from the storm
I promise you a love everlasting.