Hunted.....
Sometimes I'd wish I was numb, and that there are times I could just switch it on and off just like a light switch, at times like this It could really be handy...so I can block off all the emotions and pain I'm going through. I wish theres a pill that you can just take and it will transport you into a trance like state...that no hurt or pain can affect you.
The problem with this kind of feelings is they are like ghosts from the past coming to hunt you, to taunt you, to inflict more pain and suffering to a wound thats been there for years...that just keeps on coming back...making that hole in your heart bigger and bigger...until you fall into oblivion...not knowing when the falling into that pit of loneliness and sorrow is ever gonna end.
I wish people could see how hard it is....to go through this pain again...and that I am trying hard not to be that person all over again, and that every waking day of my life, I try to put on that smile like an armor a mask so that this (feeling) can be contained and that I will not affect the people that I love, I care for...I don't want them to see the sorrow...cause sorrow is like a virus that inflicts one person to another...
Everyday...I try to hold on to every remaining hope...every ounce of love that I could get by...but sometimes I ask can this be enough, how long can I get by...
I am fighting this war not just for my self...but for the ones that I love.
I am just prying and hoping that one day would come that I would be the victor, and that I would wake up one day and smile and I don't have to beg and fight for love and happiness any more and that this hunting feelings will just be locked away in the past never to come back again.
The problem with this kind of feelings is they are like ghosts from the past coming to hunt you, to taunt you, to inflict more pain and suffering to a wound thats been there for years...that just keeps on coming back...making that hole in your heart bigger and bigger...until you fall into oblivion...not knowing when the falling into that pit of loneliness and sorrow is ever gonna end.
I wish people could see how hard it is....to go through this pain again...and that I am trying hard not to be that person all over again, and that every waking day of my life, I try to put on that smile like an armor a mask so that this (feeling) can be contained and that I will not affect the people that I love, I care for...I don't want them to see the sorrow...cause sorrow is like a virus that inflicts one person to another...
Everyday...I try to hold on to every remaining hope...every ounce of love that I could get by...but sometimes I ask can this be enough, how long can I get by...
I am fighting this war not just for my self...but for the ones that I love.
I am just prying and hoping that one day would come that I would be the victor, and that I would wake up one day and smile and I don't have to beg and fight for love and happiness any more and that this hunting feelings will just be locked away in the past never to come back again.
posted by tsynita at
10:00 PM
1 Comments:
What you need to know about the past is that no matter what has happened, it has all worked together to bring you to this very moment. And this is the moment you can choose to make everything new - Right now.
If you clutch too much on your past, you may never be able to embrace the future that is just right in front of you now.
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