Learning to Play that....Game!

For the past few days I’ve been feeling under the weather, I guess because of stress or just plain tired, however I’m glad that I’m still able to reserve energy for my family, that the least I could do for them to spend more time with the people who through it all, still never fails to amaze me, in supporting me caring and loving for me even thou there are times that, I take them for granted, which I regret most of the time. I guess with all the studying and research that I’m doing to enrich myself professionally; I should also learn new things for myself “emotionally or even maybe holistically”. One thing I learned about myself is thou I may be good with professional relationships, the other one “NOT so good at all”, for so many times I have flunked in that department. See the problem with emotional relationships is how unpredictable and unstable it is (Just like the inflation rate in this country) and no matter how much you invest, the probability of risk is still higher than the chances of having your investments double, hell or even earn interest. This kind of relationship can never be quantified or measured, it’ just plain and simple a “gamble”. And apparently I’m not that good in plying my cards in that game, for so many times I have failed, lost in dealing with the wrong cards, no matter what. I guess it’s a result as well on how I dealt mine in the past, and with one wrong move, lady luck has left the building.

Coping with friends Help!

Funny when people ask me how I feel, It makes me wonder if they really do feel me, that if I tell them that I’m down and not well, “would they sit down and comfort me” listen to my thoughts and tell me that its gonna be ok, would they stop what they’re doing and spend a couple of minutes or even an hour or two to make me feel that I’m not alone. I’ve had very good friends, unfortunately they all had to go away to leave their own lives, but I know they’re still there, and that with a heartbeat they would come to my side and chat my blues away (You know who you are guys) and I promise I would do the same.

See, one thing I realized as well is as we go older we tend to be more hard headed, that even thou we have the answer staring us already straight in the face, we still tend to ignore the signs and still make the wrong move (damn!) and at the end we pretend that we never saw signs (how Ironic!) I remember a few years back my best friend and I would normally meet for one and one reason alone (Most of the time thou) to counsel each other about our relationships, we had each other as life support whenever that dreadful time comes around, and then no matter how devastating the ending was we were happy to say that we still had each other and that you can have both my shoulders to cry on and that I will cradle you till you cry yourself to sleep. (Kai thank you for doing the same)

I guess I miss my life support, friends who have really cared and stopped to make me feel better for myself, and this I promise no matter what, I’ll be running to your side (equipped with a box of tissue).

What did I learn for myself today?

Investing on relationships: I’m betting chips to friendship for now! Will have to save up for the “other” ;p